a prayer called MayBE


Because some days are like this...

June 15, 2017

Good Morning Sweet Spirit,

Today I just want to cry. I just want to really let it out.

Maybe it’s that time of the month.
Maybe some women are just emotional-

Maybe I’m looking at things and being disillusioned to think they aren’t going right for me-
Maybe they really aren’t going right and I’ve been wrong all this time-

Maybe I’ve been a basket case in this world my whole life doing the best I can living my own best lie-
Maybe all of this is true-
Maybe none of it is- or
Maybe this is just a fleeting moment in which I just needed to be heard.

Maybe I just need some attention. 
Maybe I’m tired of being alone- living alone- feeling alone-
Maybe I just need some sex! Some companionship? Or for the love of my life to walk into my life.

Maybe I’m just afraid. Afraid that I won’t be able to pay my rent today. Go on my trip next week…
Maybe I’m afraid of feeling like a failure to my children again- to myself-
Maybe I’m comparing my life to other people and feeling left out.

Maybe I’m so addicted to feeling bad that I am finding myself here again.
Maybe things are going so incredibly well for me that it’s uncomfortable.

Maybe for the first time in my life I have tuned in and tapped into what real freedom feels like and I’m so close to experiencing the joy- the freedom- the wealth- the abundance- the financial freedom- the bliss- the love- the peace- the clarity- the blessings that I am-
that I am self sabotaging my own self. 

Maybe I really have begun to crack the code and it scares me to think that I could be so close. 
Maybe I’m running again and this time I caught myself before I put my running shoes on.

Maybe I have my attention. 
Maybe I’ve given myself the thing that I need the most. 
Maybe I am being the partner- the love of my life -
Maybe I’m holding my hand and holding this pen...in a silent scream.

Maybe these tears that are now falling are my indication that I’ve reached the truth and that I’m really ok.

Maybe I’m mastering my emotions and feelings and thoughts. 
Maybe I’ve failed so many times before that now I’m actually winning. 
Maybe I’ve won!

Maybe I am a master of my thoughts and I have found a tool that serves me. 
Maybe the tool was always here-
Maybe I’ve connected with it.

Maybe now I can breathe and look at this day a little different- a little brighter-
Maybe coming out here on my patio was the best thing for me…
Maybe I was following the SUN?

Maybe I have followed the SUN and the SUN has led me to the energy that I needed. To the love that I yearned for- for the support, attention, care, concern, bliss, peace, joy, clarity, abundance, freedom, wealth, light, that I am.

Maybe I’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death-
Maybe I’m on the other side of fear-
Maybe in my weakness- there is courage- there is strength- there is GOD!

MayBe I am home!

Amen

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