Spring Forward: How to Let go of the Weeds in your Life
Chapter 1, the Novice and the Gardener
Catalysts
intrigue me. Like weeds in a garden, they stir up trouble but are
hardly effected themselves. I've never really thought of myself as a
science person but I'm rethinking that.
Gardening
has never been my thing. I've pretty much stuck with house plants,
flowers in pots, and a manicured lawn. But something stirred in me
this year that has made me want to plant flowers and even start an
herb garden. And interestingly enough, instead of me trying to
figure out the how to's of gardening myself (which is what I usually
do), this month I joined a local garden club of the Eno River UU Fellowship.
I
showed up on gardening day and was greeted by the club's
organizer. A master gardener, she was all smiles and seemed
delighted that I showed up to help. After a short introduction and
my willingness to dive in, she walked me to the tool shed and picked
out a pair of gloves for me to wear.
We
perched beneath a pine tree where she had been working. My first
task was to help pull up weeds that were surrounding the tree. She
didn't know it at first, but my heart sank. To me, they hardly
looked like weeds at all. They were beautiful deep green vines that
were scalloped atop the mulch and the dirt.
“Why
are we pulling these? I asked.
“They
are weeds.” she said.
I
watched her as she dug deep in the ground to carefully pull the weeds
up from the roots without yanking them mindlessly. I followed her
lead and even came across earth worms and gorgeous millipedes that
she invited me to hold up to my nose because of their distinct smell.
I was happy connecting with nature and Mother Earth.
The
passion that I witnessed from this gardening master was undeniable.
Pulling weeds seemed like such a mundane task but she put her whole
body into the work and into the ground. She pulled these weeds like
she was uncovering a maze in the earth. It was her gift to protect
this tree.
But
as we began filling up the barrel with the weeds, I was still holding
a belief that what we were doing was somehow wrong. For me it was
like pulling teeth—or killing life.
I
realized that I didn't have enough layers on to be working outside
and my fingers began to get cold and numb. She suggested that we
move to another garden in the sun. There, she pointed out more weeds.
These
were different than the dark vines. They looked like flowers. It was
also obvious that they were not part of the garden, but they were
still beautiful. I wanted to understand. I had to say something. I
had questions.
“Who
says a weed is a weed? Don't they also deserve life? They look like
flowers? Why do we need to pull these?” I was obviously a
novice.
She
picked up on my sensitivity and responded in the most gently and
loving way.
“There
is order in the earth and it is made of eco systems. Though some
plants are beautiful to look at, they all don't behave well. Some of
them wreck havoc on life forms beneath the earth and can take over a
garden and kill other plants by robbing them of necessary nutrients.
I've seen the damage that they can cause. And, if left unattended
they can take over.”
Her response was filled with so much compassion that I don't remember everything she said, but in
that one graceful moment I felt relieved of my burden. I will
never look at weeds the same again.
Catalysts
speed up the rate at which we grow. Some of them can stop us dead in
our tracks and some of them can change our trajectories all together.
Some of them can do both!
When
my 19 year old son was diagnosed with MS last year it stopped me in
my tracks. I wrote about my experience
and how before his diagnosis I was ready to trade in my mother
on duty
badge for mother
off duty,
only to be reminded that a mother's job is never done! Then, as a
small business owner, I lost a cleaning contract that I've held for
the past seven years as I became unfocused and was not properly
supervising certain jobs that I had contracted out during this time.
To add fuel to the fire, with only a part-time job to supplement my
income, I quickly became part of another statistic. At 47, I found
myself without medical coverage because of North Carolina's refusal to expand medicaid. I was now part of the gap of people
who make too much for Medicaid and too little for private insurance. Not to mention the relationships that were uprooted, it's all been a perfect storm!
Storms are not new to me. A hurricane Katrina survivor, I have learned about the resilience of the human spirit. I've also learned that gratitude can interrupt anxiety.
While all of this was brewing, I was grateful that my son had health insurance through his father's
plan and started treatment options. Ironically, as his caregiver, he
began expressing concern about my health. His concern caused me to pay
attention to my diet and other habits as I also realized that I
wasn't alone. According to the NC Justice Center, Since
January 1, 2014, North Carolina has rejected $4.9 million per day
that would provide coverage to 500,058 uninsured people. And
with the threat of more cuts from the new administration in the white house, more
people
will likely be affected.
In
the event that people needed care, I had an idea to create a resource
or a hub for those who were looking for alternative methods of
healing. I also wanted to begin researching healing alternatives for
my son. By the end of the year, I started the
Center for Herbs and Healing. I also started my alchemy journey with sage
and a new product, Try Me Sticks.
I
am grateful for the catalysts in my life. I am also grateful for new
awarenesses. Nature is a healer and teacher! Who knew that a
mundane task of pulling weeds could reveal so much? Weeds were all
around me but instead of me cutting them off, I fed and watered them
with my lack of understanding and allowed them to wreak havoc in my
garden- in my life.
Cutting weeds from my life has helped me
to see my vision and gift(s) with more clarity. With
new eyes I am clearly in unfamiliar territory, but I am rolling up
my sleeves, asking for support, and willing to get my hands dirty. I
don't have to do this alone, and neither do you!
Follow the Sun...
With Love,
Shawn
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